I Listen to Hoobastank to much, Oh well lol. Ugh Man..I dunno about things right now, i keep realizing the same things over and over again in the las few days and i tell my self over and over again, " im going to stop and change everything" but when im around everyone i just cant change and i keep doing everything the same and it pissing me off cuz sooner or later I know i'm going to hurt someone I always end up doing it sooner of later, but this time i dont want it to be like it and omg i'll stop becuz i cant really explain anything the way i feel like it seeing the person might just read it but thats okay. Yesterday was hmm...i dunno its wasnt the best day for me. I wanted it to be i mean i wanted it to be fun and exciting. Yeah there was times when it was but others when i just felt like i should walk home even though ihad no idea how to get home.I felt bad at time yesterday when i was at C.O.P with Cooper and Chad and Richard and Mac and Katie i mean i didnt really think about Cooper when i wrote that thing to that guy on my other entry and none of it was about him, i mean i know he really likes me, alot and shit but ugh he should just move on cuz all hes gunna get is a broken heart if he keeps this up..I really shouldnt be talking about this but yeah i mean hes amazing in every way the sweetest guy but he knows that i just want to be single and that i like other guys. And he knows that there are other ppl that like him and yet im trying to go and find someone else like this one chick that i think would be awesome for him and everything ( not mentioning any names) but yet she thinks that she takeing him away from me? no she shouldnt feel like that i mean hes not mine or anything lol and I dont mind if you spend all summer with him and i only get to see him for a day out of it, if that is what you want to do. I hate how no matter what i do or say if its something that i truly care about or something that i have to get out of my head, for my sake, to make me happy, it ALWAYS ends up hurting someone and i wish it wouldnt cuz now im back to me..the person who keeps everything in and cant trust a single soul, the person who if someone wants something i will do it for them the person who puts herself behind everyone in the world. I guess thats good for everyone else and as long as there happy then its all good right? I mean i can act I do most of the time anyways in my stupid messed up life. Its like im ment not to be happy or something i mean what was it maybe a week and a half i was really happy for and then everything has to go wrong and change again Ugh im sorrie i needed to get that out theres much more but thoes were the only things I could acutally get out that would maybe make sence to you the others..well those you would have to know who i was in every way to understand. Anyways Yesterday i went to see the fireworks at C.O.P and then b4 that i saw these littrle kids try and steal at the dollar store, and they got cought it was weird and then i was this guy that was drunk and he kept telling me and Kt that true love comes when your 50 and that she still loved him..and then i saw this guy that was like " hunny come back, why wont u give me a kiss" " i love you" and it was so sad cuz she kept walking away from him. And Then! lol I saw lightening that I think almost hit the ground and it was so scary i was driving by this feild and it must have came soo close to the ground like holy fuck lol. But yeah those were just some bad thinsg to warn me i guess, I mean not only that but when i was walking to the bus I got a major stomach ach. Well the fire works were nice i guess. Im playing up for U16 tomorrow im excited and then playing up for the crystals again on sunday. and then i finally have a game..well for the team in really on, on Tuesday. Omg! im so excited tho for sunday I Finally get to meet Weston! lol im scared in a way though but thats okay lol were meeting at the mall haha, and then hes coming back to my house and playing pool. man o man lol. Anyways I think i might just go and stop complaining or anything Bailey