ive never felt the pain of loss because ive never had it. i havent felt desired because im not desirable. i always give the pain even though i dont (think i) know what pain really is. i cant imagine because i cant believe. i dont mean it even though it happens. i dont try to be your disappointment. if youve counted on me and fallen because i couldnt catch you, you dont have to worry about that pain anymore. this is my suicide letter. now i will be the loss .____.____.____.____.____.____.____. the image of that night is still reoccurring in my mind. the anger in my heart is still there. i wanted to be her. i want to be her. i want to feel what she feels. so i can partially understand. but if i had her pain; just a taste, i would need all of what she needs. what we all really need... ::love, and too much of it::