Sitting in an empty house, just me, my black and milds, music, and mountain dew. Some party. Ya know, cutting the ties of love is one of the hardest things a person could do. Especially when you're a guy, and you gotta be all macho and shit so you're not labeled as a little bitch. That's funny. We ignore our emotions and label those that embrace them as being outcasts. I love the American media. I've come to realise, that life's too short to be unhappy. But why is it I can't seem to be happy? Pisses me off. I work so hard at being a good companion, yet every relationship I ever had failed for some reason, be it my own or my partners fault. Or both. Damn why can't we all be simple? Hell why can't I just become the average 18 year old hound dog looking for nothing more meaningful than a good lay? It'd be so nice to be mainstream. To be 'in'. But no. I have to live in a town where I don't know anybody, and don't care to meet anyone. I have to want a companion that I can share my thoughts and body with. Someone that's on the same level at me, and that wants the things I want. I'm here. And I know that she's there. But where? Why can't I find her. So much bullshit floating in the river of life. I need a paddle.