I dont know what the FUCK is wrong with me. I dont think that i am capable of really having fun anymore. Like, i think i have completely lost it. I could be surrounded by all of my friends, doing all of the things i love to do, and i would be lying there, thinking about all of the reasons that that very moment wasnt absolutely perfect. And most of the time, its for the same reason. *rolls eyes* It is upsetting that i have let this become such a big part of my life. It is now the determining factor of whether or not i will have fun. Bc the fact of the matter is, i am happy when i am with him. I am happy just seeing him or being near him. Just to be able to look into his eyes, stirs something inside me, and i cant help but smile. HE makes me happy. And nothing anyone can say will change that. If i cant change it myself, why does anyone else think that they can? i hate you...bc youre you. i hate you...bc youre all i think about. i hate you...bc you never think about me. i hate you...bc you made me waste my time. i hate you...bc you dont care. i hate you...bc now we don't talk. i hate you...bc of what we did. i hate you...bc of how you made me cry. i hate you...bc of the way you make me feel. i hate you...bc its that simple for you to forget me. i hate you...bc you made me like this. i hate you...bc i give into you. i hate you...bc i love you. ah. .whatever. Fuck it. i need a fucking hug. Like. . now.