i swear to bob that my moods are destroying me. today i refused to go in the gym. so i sat in the car and was overwhelmed with another bout of depression. and then i slept. at the tutor... i couldnt think worth shit. she had to help me reduce all these fractions. i forgot my 9s times tables. and my 3s. and all the others. and then on the way home i heard "dont you forget about me" by the simple minds. and wow. i forgot how much i loved the 80s. i am listening to it again. and i am happy right now. earlier i felt like i didnt want to ever do anything ever again, i just wanted to stay in bed and eat soup and burritos and watch the discovery channel. and i really didnt like anyone. i feel much better now. i hope sometime soon i will become normal again. i think im bloated. this might be pms. i hate getting my moods from my bipolar grandfather and being a girl... arghola. im really starting to despise nici. shes bugging me. and i understand desiree and annie more now. she just lies so fucking much. and she wanted to buy food with my money even though she has like $26. jesus. and she... just bugs. i get this sense that shell steal anything from me if she gets the chance. and i hate how much she lies. i dont believe anything she says anymore. i almost bought my hairdye today... but i dont think i even really wanna dye my hair. oops i forgot to get black spray in for halloween.. oh well. oh man i cannot wait for halloween. lots of fun!!! my tongue has a sore on it. i think i shall go now? okay. goodnight. (is 6:44 night?) oh well. goodnight.