i always feel like im on the brink of a catharsis or some huge revelation.i think too much though, so that before ican ever put in any of the ideas into words, i become unsure of myself. sometimes i wish i didn't question everything so goddamn much. i feel like i have no direction.(my parents like to reinforce this to me)because having direction would require me to be decisive and to be sure of myself. and just when i feel confident in something iget all analytical and tear everything apart in mind until ijust say fuck it and give up. i have no motivation to do anything constructive.i have goals and ambitions but i never put any effort into them. i need something.i want to go away for a little while.someplace like chicago maybe.just go shopping, hangout and maybe see a show. but that won't happen because my parents would never letme go up there alone or with a friend. maybe i just need ADD medication, so ican focus on something and maybe even find direction. ----- my chemical romance was fucking sold out. i went to steak n shake and starbucks. home by ten. then went to blockbuster and rented movies to watch by myself..i do this alot now and actually enjoy it honestly. fuck you fishers.