i can't take it... i want something...something that i can never have... and yet im so effing close, its almost...there... but yet it isnt there... its not mine...it never will be... and every time i'm reminded of that, its a slap in the face, a kick in stomach...except, its worse. god this hurts...i dont know how much more of it i can take... ...i don't wanna talk about it.