5.00pm I'm going to a party tonight. Wishing right now that I was prettier, more interesting, more desirable. Why can't I be like the other girls? Anyway. We had sports day today. I did discus because no-one else would and I'm quite proud of myself because I didn't come last. Ok, so I came 7th out of 8, but I didn't hit the side netting and all of my throws were in. That's bloody amazing for me. I've realised recently that I should really try to stop being so jealous. We've got who we are, we're not going to change that, so I might as well congratulate the people who are good at things and then just be happy with what we've got. It's my fault I don't get off my lazy arse and train for things to make me skinny/good at sport. But that's incredibly hard to do. I'm working on it. I might be there by the time I'm 90 or so. Right, have to go slather on the make-up. Actually, I decided not to wear too much. That'll make me look wonderful. ----- It's odd how much I looked forward to the party and now I wish I'd never gone. ----- Do you hate the way you love, or love the way you hate?