jesus fucking christ. please say she was lying. yeah. it can always get worse. i press my hands into my temples as hard as they can go, and it hurts but its not numb, and it takes away the headache feeling, and sometimes i wish my fingers would break through. tonight was the first night in a few months when i found myself reaching for something to calm me down. there was nothing. so here i sit, late at night, almost to the early morning, doing my homework that i have put off, because i know if i try to sleep i will only worry myself into nightmares. maybe i will try to find the sleeping pills, they always gave me such a dreamless sleep.