I've been pretty damn hyper...till I got home. I read someone's thing about how she's abused. It got me thinking about that shit. My mom pushing me against a wall... Her hand over my throat, choking me... A fist... *sighs and shudders* All in the past. Right? Is it just in my past? Is it all fake? I have never told anyone about that day. Nor have I told them when she dragged me into the bathroom and hit me and hit me and hit me... *sighs* She hasn't hit me much since, but it's still there. It makes me wonder how much I have fucked up and made her hate me. She says she doesn't, but is that because I'm leaving her soon? She's already lost me. I'm gone. I will never hurt my children the way she hurt me. I won't let myself. I can't. I just can't. Kari To my mother to my father It's your son or it's your daughter Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me? Should I turn this up for you? I sit here locked inside my head Remembering everything you said This silence get's us nowhere Get's us nowhere way too fast